I have diabetes (type 1.5).
And for a long time, that’s been
impossible to say. Or write. Even think about.
At 13, I became an expert at hiding my
condition. Keeping my secret allowed me to ignore reality; my BS* was
off the charts (A1C 13+). I kept my diabetes
in the dark, believing
I could do it alone.
After college, I finally picked up a
book about diabetes. Not a medical manual, but someone's personal
experiences sprinkled among historical narratives about diabetes
pioneers. It changed my life. I began to see that it was possible
to live a normal life with diabetes; that it was possible to live at
all with it. For the first time in a decade, I felt like I had a
choice in my fate and agency in life. I got my BS back on track.
Needless to say, I no longer believe it
is healthy, safe, or comforting to so carefully prevent disclosure of
conditions like diabetes. But I still struggle to be open about it;
I have no clue how to frame the story. Almost fifteen years in, it's
still hard to sort out what it means to be diabetic.
Thus, this.
Diabetes in the Dark is an exploration
of what life with diabetes means, what role chronic conditions play
in our identities, and how it affects others' perceptions of us and
our understanding of ourselves. It will hopefully echo the message
that a happy and healthy life with diabetes is well within our reach,
that we have to believe it, and that we all can absolutely do this.
Take it from a recovered born-again closet diabetic coming to the
light: You can do whatever you want, and the one and only factor
determining your success is your belief in that.
On this blog you'll find anecdotes,
news, inspiration, humor, lifestyle tips, recipes, humor, and
complaints under thin masks of satire. I hope what is posted here
is in some way helpful to you, as hearing others' experiences has
been invaluable to me.
Thank you for being here, reading,
sharing, and contributing. Seriously, thank you.
A.L.
